Stories of Lost Children
Lost without Maddie
by Nikki, Sheboygan, WI, U.S.A.
Welcome to my story... It all begain at 12am June 13th. I thought I had a plevic infection, But in fact I was in labor. I never knew I was pregnant and that was because I had my menstrual cycle through my whole pregnancy (my first baby). I never knew the signs to look for. But that night my life changed forever and so did the lives around me. I called my Mom around 3am (June 13th) to tell her I was having a baby. She came right away and was there the whole time. The doctor was a OBGYN because our lack of prenatal care, it was a high risk pregnancy. He checked the heart beat and everything sounded wonderful at first. Then I was not dilating very well so he did an ultrasound. He measured the size of the head and said it was too big and that he would perfer to do an C-section. I was like ok. I was still trying to get it through my head that at the age of 20 I was going to be a mommy and I didn't even know it. Well the delivery went well. When I awoke I was told that I had a baby girl and that she was 9 lbs 13 ozs and 22 inches long. I named her Madison Mary. She was doing well on her own but they were worried about her head. I then called her father to let him know that he was a Daddy and what was going on. Soon he arrived up by me and Madison, and we were together for the whole time she was here. So they sent her to CHW (Chilrens Hospital of Wisconsin). They did a test that showed that she only had the brain stem and nothing else was there. It was hard to understand everything in such a short time. Now she was down at CHW and I was still back in Sheboygan. I missed her terribly. I got a call from CHW telling me that she only had her brain stem and that she wasn't looking very well. So June 14th (remind you I had a c-section), I left the hospital on a day pass for 6 hours to go and hold my baby. I was driven the hour there and held her for a while. We then had to get going back to the hospital so I could rest the night. June 15th, I got released from the Hospital and went to be with my daughter. We got there and she was doing much better with me and her Daddy around. June 17th we celebrated Brian's first Fathers day. We (me and Maddie) got him a frame and I put a picture of him holding her in it.
June 19th, she started to cut down on her oxygen intake and she was starting to turn colors (grayish blue). But everytime I would hold her, her color would come back.
June 20th, she was in her Grandma Harney's arms very peacefully. With Grandma Fischer, Daddy and Me. We think about Maddie every day and we love her and cherish the moments we have. Just remember all children are special and they all have a purpose but they will still love us from here or from above. Thanks for listening to me and my story,
Nikki, Maddie's Mommy
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