Stories of Lost Children
Christopher Buckberry...Forever 17
by Deborah McIntyre, Alger, MI, U.S.A.
I will never forget the 2nd of May. I knew something was wrong the whole day at work. I could feel it. I got home and my babysitter (who babysat for us since Christopher was 8 years old) stepped out onto the deck and told me that Hanna, Christopher's girlfriend had broken up with him that day in school. The Vice Principal had called and asked her to come pick him up or they would find alternative ways to get him home. She also told me that on the way home that Christopher had shared with her that he had went to a party that weekend and had gotten very drunk to the point where he did not remember anything about that night. He woke up in a town called Omer, covered with a blanket, and his bike beside him. We went in the house and talked quietly as Chris was seemingly asleep in his bed. When my daughter Cassandra got home from school at 4 pm, I informed her that Chris had had a very bad day and to remain in her room if possible and give him his space. She did. After the sitter went home, I took my youngest, Elizabeth (almost 2) and went back to my bedroom to give Chris his space and allow him to come to me as he hated it when I went to him when I knew something was wrong. Right after the sitter left, he got up and immediately started calling Hanna. He went out on the deck so no one would hear the conversations. Around 7 pm he went into the bathroom to take a shower. After the shower he started calling Hanna again out on the deck. At around 8 pm, he came to me telling me he felt he no longer wanted to live. I told him that Hanna would not be his last girlfriend, and that she would not be the last girl to break his heart. I told him I knew he hurt right then, but with time, it would get better. I was there for him, that I loved him. I knew it was hard, but we would get through it together. He said "ok Mom" and went back out on the deck. At around 8:15 pm I heard a thump. I thought maybe our dog had gotten off of her cable. I looked out the backdoor by my room and I saw a car on the side of the road with 4 people frantically getting out. One was a girl with a cell phone. I opened the door and stepped out onto the back porch. There is a big pine tree with low lying branches so I had to duck down a little. I saw something pink across the street. It was Christopher, he was wearing Hanna's pink "hoody" sweatshirt. He was lying face down in the dirt across the street. I started to scream. The girl with the cell phone ran to me. Cassandra came to the back door asking why I was screaming. I told her Chris had been hit by a car. Elizabeth wanted out. I asked her to watch elizabeth so I could go to Chris and shut the back door. I ran across the street to my son. His face was covered in blood and he was not moving. I just stood there, screaming, crying. The ambulance came, and the state police. The girl with the cell phone was holding Chris's hand and told me he was squeezing her hand. I heard elizabeth crying and I had to go back to the house, I didn't want to leave my son...I didn't want too!!! The girl with the cell phone let me use her phone to call the sitter and it just rang and rang. I called my parents who lived a distance away. There were on their way. I went back into the house and paced constantly looking out the window. There were now 2 ambulances and neither was going anywhere. It took forever. I heard a noise..it was a helicopter. I was mad, I thought it was the media taking pictures. I opened up the door. It was St. Mary's helicopter, it had landed in the field next to my house and he was being wheeled to it. They were putting him in, then my parents pulled in the drive. The helicopter flew off. I had to drive to the hospital myself. A suicide crisis person was there and I didn't know why...then it hit me. I cried and cried. I had to wait to see my boy. His brain was swelling and there was nothing for them to do for it. I called my family. The next day, my son died. I donated his organs. He saved six lives the following day. I now have this huge gaping hole in my heart that can never be filled. There are no support groups in my area and nothing for grief counselors. I hurt everyday, work, well work takes everything I have just to go. I miss you Christopher. I will always love you and never forget you. I hope you had the "Time of your life."
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