Stories of Lost Children
Baby Eric
by Heather, Anderson, SC, U.S.A.
I had tried to get pregnant for a while. We had a 4 year old daughter and we wanted a son, too. When we went for the ultrasound and found out it was a boy the grin on my husbands face was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Everything was fine. My daughter was going to be a big sister! He loved to keep me up at night and he slept all day. But in my third trimester I was getting too tired. And I wasn't feeling him move much. At my appointment Tuesday, July 24, 2007 I told them this. "Everything is fine, you're just pregnant." Thursday night came and I couldn't make him move. Friday morning I called the doctor's office and they said for me to go to the hospital and get checked out. I was sure everything was fine and I would be home in a couple of hours. My husband wanted to bring everything. So we did. When the nurse connected the machine to my belly she was having a hard time. I thought she just didn't know what she was doing. Then I realized she had moved all over and I could not hear anything. I started crying, my husband just sat there in disbelief. The doctor came in to do an ultrasound and his little heart was just sitting there not moving. I thought I had to be dreaming. I screamed, cried, asked for a C-Section "FIX MY BABY BOY!!!" Nothing could be done. They put me in a room down away from everyone and induced me and doped me up. I had an epidural so I didn't realize I had a fever, my mom did. The nurse checked and my fever was 102 and my blood pressure and pulse kept dropping dangerously low. Finally, just in time for the epidural to start to wear off, Eric was born. July 27, 2007, 9:02 p.m. 5lbs. 3oz. 17 3/4". We held him, took pictures, baptized him, and a few days later, buried him. I was in such a daze. This happens to other people and you feel sorry for them. This doesn't happen to me. I still miss him so much. He died from an infection I had and didn't even know. Some days I blame myself. Some days I think it happened for a reason. In all his pictures you can see a big question mark in the middle of his forehead. That hurts. But things do get better and things still upset me to no end. I just take it one day at a time, pray that this will never happen again, and know I will see him again someday.
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